rights wronged

Broken shards

Uneasy hearts

Flickering lights

Loud fights

Silence prolonged

Rights wronged

Bruising pain

Again & again

life story

blues

I don't really know why I'm bothering to blog, I have so many little niggling worries jumbled up in my brain, I suppose just writing them out will calm me down& realise I can deal with them once I have definitely figured out what they are EXACTLY.

Had guests round, the type where mum wakes up at a ridiculous hour in the morning to marinate the chicken& prepare 58473 dishes.

Went to uni &realised that I have a 2000 word essay plan to hand in this Wednesday which will be unmarked& totally uncalled for- why oh why do they insist on such assignments if they're only going to end up being binned once theyre written?!!

Froze my butt off walking to& fro uni& work in this freezing cold >.<

I have another 14,000 words to write until the 7th of December

My mobile fone refuses to work, I can't get it to switch on& I need to ring to cancel my sewing lesson tomorrow

I have to ring my work experience people at 10am& I have no mobile as of now & I probably won't even be near a fone seeing as I'm planning to hibernate at Uni for my assignments

My student finance form is still not sent off& so no money :(

Arghhhhhhh.



Good news is in a month I'll be outta gloomy England.
it's just a matter of making it alive til then.

true/false

I am a cuddler: false

I am a morning person: false.

I am a perfectionist: false to a certain extent

I am an only child: false

I am Catholic: false

I am currently in my PJs: false

I am currently pregnant: false

I am currently single: true

I am currently suffering from a broken heart: i'm always pining over something or the other

I am left handed: true

I am married: false

I am addicted to myspace: false

I'm shy around the opposite sex: more false than true

I currently regret something I have done: true

When I get mad I curse: false, i curse when i shouldn't

I don't like anyone: falso

I enjoy country music: false

I enjoy Jazz: false

I have a car: false- but i wish i did

I have a cell phone: true

I have a pet: false

I have at least one brother or sister: true

I have been to another country: true

I have been told that I'm smart: true

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor: true

I have had a broken bone: false

I have caller ID on my phone: true

I have changed a lot over the past year: i think so- true

I have had surgery: true

I have killed another person: false

I have had my hair cut within the last week: false

I have had the cops called on me: false

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't: true

I have mood swings: only when it's my time of the month

I have watched Sex and the City: false

I have seen the Lord of the Rings: true

I like Shakespeare: to a certain extent

I love to cook: true &only when it's only me in the kitchen

I love Michael Jackson: false

I love sleeping: true

I love to shop: true

I miss someone right now: true

I own & use a library card: true

I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream: false

I read books for pleasure in my spare time: true

I sleep a lot during the day: true

I strongly dislike math: false

I think Britney Spears is pretty: i have no opinion regarding her

I was born in a country other than the US: true

I watch Soap Operas on a regular basis: false

I will try almost anything once: true

I would classify myself as ghetto: false

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White: dopey/happy/sleepy/sneezy/grumpy--um.false?

I am currently wearing socks: false, i hate socks!

I am tired: a little

I watched a movie last night: true

eternal sunshine

[Mary reads to Dr. Mierzwiak out of "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations"; the lines are from Alexander Pope's poem "Eloisa to Abelard"]

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

/Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

she's a liar& she knows you'll fall for it #2

I digress, I think maybe writing out the 'truth' will justify my existence or just make me feel better that somewhere out there in the world, my story is written albeit not a truly interesting, life changing one, but nevertheless one worthy of skimming your eyes over and wondering why I've bothered to write it out. I don't know.

I'm still at the office, to be honest I actually don't mind working here. The manager is pretty easy going, he rarely comes round to where our cubes are, he'll just intercom if he needs to speak to you otherwise he leaves us alone to robotically do our jobs. I like that he leaves us the hell alone, I wouldn't know what to say if he came round and started to make small talk with me, I'd feel all out of my element since he's old and has the worst habit of always having an aniseed ball in his mouth. he has this horrid way of maneuvering the sweets with his tongue, as though having it on one side of the cheek isn't enough but he has to take it on a journey across the plane of his mouth. You can tell I've thought long and hard about this weird habit of his, I wonder when he realised that life tastes better with an aniseed, maybe that should be his slogan, God knows. I don't know him too well to suggest it to him.

There's this guy who works adjacent to me, he wears t shirts with funky designs and quirky slogans but rarely makes conversation. Funny how you sometimes want someone to talk to you, but when they do you end up shooting the bullshit right at them. I feel a little threatened by him, I think he sees past my facade of being nonchalant and unsociable and sees the desperate loner who yearns for some friends. I hate it when I look over at him and he's blatantly ignoring my gaze, it's frustrating that i can't do anything to change it. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk to him and just see what his deal is with the silence and complete ignorant attitude. Maybe.

obsessions

From:http://zeethought.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/sharing-fabulous-obsessions/

• List five current obsessions.
• Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
• On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
• When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
• Don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

These are the rules but I'm super lazy&won't follow them except for the one where I have to list five obsessions. I'm sure I've done something similar to this but I'll do it anyways since I'm out of inspiration these days.

ONE

I'm pretty addicted to a couple of websites& I think I'll just include them as one- I'm going to prnt scrn my tabs just so you can see what I've usually got open nearly every time I'm online.

[I can't fix it so you can see :/ but they're tumblr/hotmail/gmail/youtube/ffffound]

TWO

Lately, I've become infatuated with anything related to dreams/imaginative ideas, I can ponder on my own thoughts for hours on ends just wondering on random concepts. I've always been a interested in what makes people tick&what they immediately think once they've come across something new/different. Maybe the two are interlinked- dreaming&reactions to what occurs to people :shrugs: I have no idea. I've got this annoying habit of asking friends what their reactions are to my words/actions, and I rarely ask them straight away. It's after a day or so&I'll remember that I want to know what they think of the situation. It's all weird, but that's me :)

THREE

Gosh, I'd have to admit &say food. I love eating& recently- cooking has become a fun thing to do. I'm not amazing at cooking nor very adventurous, but I really enjoy mixing& stirring in foodstuffs. It's thrilling to anticipate reactions [see, that again!] to my culinary skills, I'm not v.good but I do appreciate the experience of cooking& of course: eating! Thankfully, I have a super fast metabolism, so dieting is a foreign& unneeded word in my vocabulary.

FOUR

I'm intrigued by language &the effect it has in our lives, I suppose my ever fluctuating attitude towards my degree can be blamed on my interest in the intricately woven world of grammar& language. I really enjoy learning about it but I don't look forward to the amount of essay writing linked with it. Language has long been my bittersweet passion, some days I feel so frustrated by the vastness of the topic &other days: I just want to bask in its wondrous waves of knowledge. One of the reasons why I love Alice in Wonderland &An Abundance of Katherines is that they both explore the malleability of language, the flexibility& complete unpredictable nature of how we perceive things solely due to language. Fun stuff!

FIVE

This one's an embarrassing one but I'll mention it anyways, I really love fashion &clothes. I can spend hours flicking through catalogues just looking at pretty clothes, same goes for magazines- me&my mum will inspect every detail &discuss every little aspect. I'm also a huge of gofugyourself.com where two bloggers critique& cuss celebrities& their clothing, they're a little harsh but always humorous in their blogs- I love it! You'd think these people are earning in the thousands& they still struggle in what to wear.

There you have them- what are yours?